May 19, 2012 5:55:06 AM EDT

Funny Quotes

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TreChic's picture
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Funny Quotes

Post funny quotes here! Here's few.

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
-- Bill Cosby

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. Bernard Shaw

Mango's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

NICE ONES!! I love the Barbie one!

[video:2dev32hi]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3H_zP_2dWk[/video:2dev32hi]
"One thing that both me and Billie can relate to is what happens if you are brought up in a house full of women. It opens your eyes r

TreChic's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

Glad you like them. Got more.

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be"

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
Short and funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.

"The latest new dance craze is called, "The Politician." It's two steps forward, one step backward, and then a sidestep."

Mango's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

HAHA The PMS one

[video:2dev32hi]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3H_zP_2dWk[/video:2dev32hi]
"One thing that both me and Billie can relate to is what happens if you are brought up in a house full of women. It opens your eyes r

TreChic's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

I know you want 'em..

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot"

"Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
Oprah Winfrey

"When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."
Rita Rudner

"In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf."

Mango's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

[video:2dev32hi]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3H_zP_2dWk[/video:2dev32hi]
"One thing that both me and Billie can relate to is what happens if you are brought up in a house full of women. It opens your eyes r

TreCoolIsFunny's picture
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Re: Funny Quotes

LOL!!!

...meow